I'm tired...

Ok, this may be because I'm tired today after not sleeping due to tossing and turning all night wrestling with these questions about church...but here goes...

The culmination of all our 'experiences' with church life and leadership has really caused us to ask the question "what is church?" What is it really sposed to look like? We have seen too much...spent too long behind the big curtain watching the little old man pulling the strings (wizard of Oz reference). Its just not working...or at least "its not working enough". What impact is being made on the community?

I'm tired....

I'm tired of people being entertained and not being discipled (not suggesting these HAVE to be mutually exclusive)

I'm tired of the poor not being fed? (I couldn't tell another person asking for some money to feed their children that we cant give them anything (because its policy) when we have 6 plasma screens hanging on our stage - I know the story of the costly perfume etc but I don't think this means thats it ok to have expensive toys and NOT look after the poor).

I'm tired of hearing/talking about how to "DO" church and want to start hearing/talking about how we "BE" the church.

I'm tired or having to wonder if these very senior Christian leaders are even saved.

I'm tired of evangelism and missions 'not really being the thing that we do'.

I'm tired of controlling leadership.

I'm tired of leadership 'controlling' everything to protect our 'brand'.

I'm tired of legalism.

I'm tired of people being used, abused and spat out, all in the name of 'serving the house of God' (I thought that we ARE the house of God?)

I'm all for giving generously, but I'm tired of being charged for everything and then asked for a sacrificial offering, after I've already sacrificed everything I have to be there, pay the registration and 'serve' my ass off.

I'm tired of Gold VIP rooms and Silver VIP rooms.

I'm tired of the boys club.

I'm tired of not being able to go to the senior pastors breakfast because the church at which I'm the senior pastor doesn't quite have enough people for me to be considered a 'Senior Pastor', until then I'm just a 'pastor'.

I'm tired of labels and positional authority rather than God appointed, anointed, respected and servant hearted authority.

I'm tired of Christian Celebrity.

I'm tired of 90% of the congregation not being 'engaged'

I'm tired being of being sung at in 'worship'

I'm tired of paper work and just want to get my hands dirty!

I'm tired of being judged.

I'm tired of people thinking that my wife has a chronic illness because she doesn't have enough faith.

I'm tired of people thinking that my wife has a chronic illness because she said “I'm feeling sick”

I'm tired of 'faith' being a mask for fear.

I'm tired of people making crap up that is not in the bible. For crying out loud, Jesus did not turn the water into 'grape juice' and David and Jonathon were not gay!

I'm tired of christianity only being accessible to the intelligent.

I'm tired of preaching where its all about me.

I'm tired of preaching that suggests that Jesus died so that I can have a Ferrari. (I mean what's wrong with a porsche? ;)

I'm tired of preaching that creates discontentment (in a materialistic sense).

I'm tired of christianity being 'Sunday-10am-centric'.

I'm tired of people thinking that I'm backsliding if I skip a service.

I'm tired of the mindset that I have to dress up to honour God when I go to meet him at the church at 10am on Sunday. Do they not realise that God was with me all week, when I woke up, when I had breakfast and even when I farted?!

I'm tired of being tired.